Thinking of you, Grandma

1 year ago, my grandma passed away.  It was a crazy, icy weekend.  It was also the Gala opening of the Stephen Sondheim Center for the Performing Arts, and I was performing.  I had spent many nights in the two weeks previous to her death on a spare bed in her room at Parkview Care Center.  We knew it wouldn't be long, and I didn't want her to be alone.  My Uncle Dave came, and he and I switched off, making sure someone was always there.  

I think I had four performances that weekend, and Uncle Dave suggested I sleep in my own bed, which was probably a good idea.  But after the show that night, I went out to see Grandma.  It was late, maybe 11:00 or so.  She'd been in and out for several days, but that night she was awake and clear.  Uncle Dave slept in the chair by her bed, and I leaned down and talked to her.  I held her hand and told her about the show and asked her how she was feeling.  Even then, she was never one to complain.  I didn't stay long because I wanted her to rest, but I leaned down and kissed her forehead and told her I loved her.  She looked me right in the eye and said, "I love you too."  I went home and went to bed.  I got the call a couple hours later that she'd slipped away quietly in her sleep.  It was hard to perform the next day, but I knew she wouldn't have wanted me to miss it.  If I can make it through that, I can make it through anything.  

I miss her a lot today.  We're having a day off school due to icy weather, and if she were still at Sunnybrook, I'd pick up Subway or something for us and surprise her, and we'd watch Wheel of Fortune or a basketball game.  I put up some of her Christmas decorations this year.  I'm glad I have them, but it makes me sad too.  I miss her.