Thursday, April 15, 2010


I'm feeling sappy.

Uncle Dave & Andi are in Alaska right now. Andi just posted on Facebook about seeing 2 moose. It made me want to go back and look at all my Alaska pictures again from this summer. It also made me miss Grandma. This is the trip she wanted to take with her granddaughters. It just didn't work out. Then, it just didn't work out again for me to go with them. I'm infinitely grateful for my Alaska visit this summer. It was such a gift! Admittedly, I'm selfishly glad that I got my cousins to myself this summer, but I do wish that Andi and I could have spent some time together. I just don't feel like I know her very well. I really miss Grandma today. See? Sappy.

On another sappy note, our dear family friend Helen Knox from Indianola passed away last week. I'd been so terrible about keeping in touch after Grandma died. I didn't even get any Christmas cards sent out this year, so she hadn't heard from me in ages. When Andrew's Churchill play was in Des Moines, I thought that it might be something that Helen would enjoy. I called and left a message on her answering machine about it. Her sister called me back & said that Helen was in the hospital. She'd had colon cancer surgery at the beginning of March, and though the surgery went well, she just hadn't bounced back. She'd been in the hospital for about three weeks. When I was in Des Moines, I went to see her twice. She was so glad to see me, and I was glad to see her too. We didn't talk much because she'd just had her feeding tube out, and her throat was sore, but I just held her hand and spent time with her. Her sister called just a few days later to tell me that she'd passed away. Just like that. I'm so glad I saw her. So so so glad. I'm also pissed because her family didn't even put an obituary into the Fairfield paper. She did live here, and she always said no matter where she lived, Fairfield was her home. Helen never had any kids of her own. She always referred to Fairfield as her home and us as her family. On every card she ever sent, and she always sent Christmas cards and birthday cards, and sometimes, even Valentine's cards, she always told me I was her family. I hope she wasn't alone when she died. That's maybe the scariest part about not having kids... realizing that no one will be there when you're old. Helen seemed so alone to me, those days in the hospital. I know she had her sister and her nieces, but really, she was alone. It makes me so sad. I'm so glad I got to see her. She was such a dear friend to Grandma. She was such a dear friend to me. I'm happy to think of her reunion with my mom and my grandma. There were a lot of tears and hugs when Helen's family welcomed her home. Rest in peace, good soul.

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