Tuesday, May 11, 2010

It Doesn't Get Any Easier

Let's say a certain person turns 38. That certain person expects to start getting a handle on this thing called life. But said certain person realizes that she still doesn't have a freaking clue.

* Mother's Day still sucks. And I don't mean a little bit. When you don't have a mom, and you aren't a mom, this day is rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, and then me, to quote Rachel Greene.

* More birthdays don't make a person wiser. I still don't have the answers. I still don't know how to run my life. I still want my mom to give me advice. I still want to crawl in a hole some days. I swear, the older I get, the less I know.

* Despite what my mom told me, there are some things that you can NEVER get, no matter how hard you work or how much you want them. Thank goodness there aren't many things like this, but there are some.

* I've felt very emotionally unsettled lately (can you tell???). If you're the praying kind, I could use a few.

Luckily, I have a lot of blessings in my life. I always need to remind myself of those. I have wonderful friends and love in my life. I have a caring extended family. I have a roof over my head. I have options and possibilities. I have fantastic students that I care about. I have theatre. I have books. I have Hawkeye football. And, I have a sweet little furball named Avery who greets me with love every day, no matter what kind of mood I'm in.

It feels good to release some of this bottled-up stuff. Hope none of you mind.


  1. Hi Tena
    I've been reading your blog for a while now from my little cottage in England and I love how much we have in common - I'm a teacher, single, no baby, 37 and constantly challenged by what life throws at me; I love musical theatre and singing and books and friends - I have a love hate relationship with my job which just drains the life out of me...! I wanted to say to keep your chin up because I am starting to suspect that we are never quite meant to get life right! There's an English band I love who have a song which contains the line - "sometimes you've gotta be the first one on the dance floor" which I have adopted as my personal motto. Laughing, being silly and holding on to the joy is what gets us through. Happy birthday Tena. Love Anna from England

  2. Hi Tena. I wanted to tell you that I love your blog and am reading it from a little cottage in England. I love music theatre - which is how I found your blog.I am amazed how much we have in common - I'm 37, single, an aunt, a teacher, and like you get a bit overwhelmed with it all at times. I am coming to the conclusion that we never get life right or understand it, no matter how old we get! An English band I love have a song with the line "sometimes you've got to be the first one on the dance floor" and I think I have adopted that as my motto. I guess all we can do is laugh and be silly and hold on to the moments of joy that can seem so fleeting. I do hope you feel brighter soon. Happy birthday, Tena, love from Anna in England

  3. Dear Anna, thank you so much... this is exactly what I needed to hear today. And came all the way from a little cottage in England! Thank you so much for commenting... it sounds like we have a lot in common!!! Do you have a blog? I'd love to follow you too! :)

  4. You may get a little weary of being told what a wonderful person you are, and definitely this week was one of those: "Yes, thank you very much, that's all well and good, BUT..." weeks. But you a wonderful, unique, extraordinarily gifted person, who is greatly loved.


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