Releasing It

Hello, Blog.  Long time, no write.

My middle schoolers and I have 6 days left together.  They're making it tough on me.  I'm going to talk about it here and release it to the universe.

I know it's the end of the year in so many ways.  I'm tired.  Tears are right below the surface.  I have so much to do.  I have to much left to do.  And they're already done.  They're SO done.

I get it. I want to be done too.  But we're not done.

I know they're too young to really understand how quickly time goes.  For them, it's a snail.  These last 6 days feel like forever to them.

I'm old enough and beat up enough by life to know that time is precious.  You don't wish it away.

I'm looking forward to my summer so so so so much.  I'm counting down too.  We're all human.  But I want to end this school year sad that these turkeys are leaving, not hoping the door doesn't hit them on the way out.

I'm taking things personally this year, this spring.  Today.  I'm letting my feelings get hurt.  I need to get over that.  You'd think that the 21st year with middle schoolers would be routine... that I'd have a harder shell built up... all of that.  Guess not.  I think I might even care more now than I did 20 years ago.  That's a good thing.  It hurts because I care.  I do know that.

Teacher God, give me strength to get it done, to get it done well, and to send them off with love and care and grit.

I think I can.  I think I can.  I think I can.
I know I will.  I know I will.  I know I will.

November Gratitude #14

November 14: Today I'm grateful for my inspirations. I had many great teachers, but my 2 favorites were Gloria Countryman (2nd grade) and Idella Spann (8th grade Honors English). I know they both shaped the teacher that I am today. They were tough but fun, and they challenged me to be the best I could be. I'm eternally grateful to them both, and I still want to be just like them!

More teachers who greatly impacted my life include:

Donald Whyte

Lee Spann

L'louise Bowman

Steve Brockway

Dave Tobias

Barbara Johnson

John Gibson

Susan Morgan

Jan Rawley

You each made a lasting impression on my life, and therefore, the lives of many other students as well. Since you all shaped the teacher that I've become, you're touching a whole new generation of students. Thank you!

Fun Haters, or I Hate the Man

Dear Mr. Brown,

Remember during the 1990 Abraham Lincoln High School graduation when you took my can of silly string from under my chair while I was up getting my diploma? Remember how you smugly sat on the bench across from me as my entire class, all 287 (well... 286 because I wasn't a part of it) of them, sprayed their cans of silly string gleefully into the air to celebrate our special day? You raised your eyebrows at me as if to say, "What are you going to do about it?" I hope that made you feel all big and important, denying one person (a pretty good kid who was never a troublemaker in school) her fun moment. Can you tell that I'm still bitter? It's a little lame, but I really feel like you ruined my graduation. You. A teacher. You ruined my night. Jerk.

I hope you're retired,

Tena

I seriously hate it when adults smash young people's dreams to feel good about themselves. I was reminded of this hatred today when I learned that the Fairfield tradition of taking huge signs with names on them to the All-State Music Festival is being crushed. First, I should be positive and say that 11 kids from Fairfield made All-State yesterday. And, one more has a chance to make it in piano; his recall is on Wednesday in Ames. That is AWESOME!!! I'm so proud of them and of everyone who tried out. It's hard and emotional, and it takes a ton of commitment.

Anyway, every year, Fairfield kids spend hours making these awesome signs, one sign for every kid who made it. They hold them up in the crowd to show their pride and support. Well, someone thinks these signs are distracting and inappropriate. So now, without even a discussion for how they might be used in a different, more acceptable way, the tradition is over. Done. Finished.

Fun haters.

I know that sometimes when you're in authority, it's easy to be a fun hater. There is work to be done, and there is a time and a place for everything. But can we please have a little perspective and maybe focus that fun hating energy into keeping kids in school or saving the environment or getting crime off the streets? There is so little celebration from kids' peers for the arts. Is it really necessary to destroy what little there is?

If I've ever crushed your fun, I'm sorry. I hope you'll come and talk to me about it, and maybe we can find an alternate solution that will get the job done and bring you joy at the same time.

And for the record, as a teacher now myself, if I was holding that single student's can of silly string while 286 other kids sprayed theirs, I would hand hers back.

Today I Need a Little Taylor Mali

Thanks. I needed that.